Saturday, April 19, 2008
I knew I was going to make this little blog in addition to my other sites a couple months ago. I decided that I needed another forum to speak my mind and not try to make humor out of something. What I didn't know is that I was going to start tonight. But, I saw my boy Tofu De La Moore's blog post about his background. It hit me and made me think about me and the things I have done and been through. "So heeeeeere we gooooooo" (c) Slick Rick
I'm a little less than 24 hours away from my 21st birthday. At times I questioned whether I would make it to 21, 22, or hell, 18. But here I am and unless something amazingly bad happens on this Saturday I will see 21. It doesn't mean much to me to be honest but I am glad that I am here.
At times I didn't want to be here...but I am getting ahead of myself. As a child I had pneumonia. I almost died. Instead the father at my local church did. Shit like that is weird, and it makes you think.
I don't feel like going through my whole childhood but here are some key facts about it:
-I didn't have a "TV Show Family"
-I saw what alcohol can do to a family
-I know what being the underdog is like
-I was born, raised, and still currently reside in housing projects in the state of New York
-I know what being the minority in a neighborhood feels like
-I saw hoop dreams deflate and a true fiends weight (c) Jay-Z
My teenage years were a journey that shaped me, scarred me and prepared me for what life is really like. Depression introduced itself to me directly when I was 14 but it was probably following me through my city for a while. I tried to battle it for nearly 4 years of high school but I realized I couldn't do it alone and finally got help.
Before I did get that help I learned to sell drugs, take a few things, carry illegal things on my person and all that stuff that gets glamorized. Thankfully I didn't kill myself or anyone else. I learned that a man is willing to do a lot of crazy things that can jeopardize his well being for a mere $10.
I didn't want to talk about everything tonight, I will save a lot of it for future posts and/or books that I plan on writing (I'm serious...look at the above picture). But, I have a few more things to divulge. My best friend is in prison because he wasn't able to stop doing what we learned to do in high school, sell drugs. My former best friend that I knew before I had memories (that statement makes sense, trust me) crossed me. I met my father in 2007. And that is about it for now.